Trial By Fury!

Analog Boy, In A Digital World...

2007-05-09T05:06:00.000-04:00

I've got a new computer, and Photoshop CS, so I finally installed the tablet I spent a hundred bucks on but never used. Learning to draw with the stylus is like learning to wipe your ass with your foot, but just as I eventually mastered the later, through perserverance, I hope to equally master the former. Stuff I done drawed in the pooter:

(I don't know why the "thumbnail" for that one looks all big and blurry)

I have to say, I'm pretty excited about learning a whole new medium to do half-assed, unfinished work in. It's like my future's so moderately lit, I gotta wear tinted glasses.

What If?

2007-04-25T01:08:00.000-04:00

Dicking around with Illustrator, wasting taxpayers dollars while I'm supposed to be working.

This is kind of a self-portrait...

...if I tended to wear my hat more like a total douche.

My humps...

2007-04-20T23:24:00.000-04:00

Hey, remember when I used to post in here regularly? Me neither!

This one's an inside joke that's not funny even if you're inside:

MSPaint!

Back with more soon? Perhaps! Who knows though? I pride myself on my unpredictability.

Holy Shit Am I Dead?! (part 4)

2006-12-11T21:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, I think this is the end...

I know I didn't have the highest viewership before my 6 month hiatus, so, if there's anyone left, or if you're a spam robot traversing the internet hocking penis pills and mail order brides, thanks for stopping by!

Holy Shit Am I Dead (part 3)

2006-12-11T21:39:00.000-05:00

Mo? Fo' sho'!

Holy Shit Am I Dead?! (part 2)

2006-12-11T21:36:00.000-05:00

Booyah...

Holy shit am I dead?!

2006-12-11T21:04:00.000-05:00

My god, it's been quite awhile since I've updated this sumbitch! While the safe assumption would be that I just gave in to my natural inclination towards being a lazy bastard with no motivation or inclination to keep doodling muscle men and nekkid ladies, the reality is that life came along, beat my ass, dunked my head in the toilet and hung me from my locker by my underwear. For the record, 3 or 4 months back my archaic computer finally gave up the ghost. I was going to buy a new one, until a decade of financial mismanagement finally caught up to me, and several thousand dollars worth of debt and legal threats fell into my lap. During all of this, my roommates and I refused to renew our lease on our house until our slumlord did some long overdue basic repairs to make the place liveable (the Sarlac pit erupted through our bathroom floor, for one). When he refused, we decided to bail on that place immediately, leaving me floating from couch to couch for a couple of months, all of my personal belongings having been put in storage. So, no permanent address, no art supplies, no personal computer, and limited internet access(a few hours a day at work) resulted in no updates. There's a couple of forums on the web that probably think I got swallowed by a black hole, and, depending on how convincing I can be in text, I may try to go with that as an explanation.

Anyway, not paying rent for several months allowed me to clear my debts, and I moved into my new pad last weekend. My drafting table is set up, but my scanner and art supplies are lost in the abyss of boxes until I get everything unpacked. I also don't have my own computer yet, but Santa Clause (read: "Visa card") should be bringing me one soon. So what the fuck am I doing here if I don't have any of my shit together? Well, I refuse to end the year with my last post having been over the Summer, so I've got about 10,000 old drawings from the last year I never bothered to put up previously that I'm going to dump into here to alleviate some of the guilt of owning a sketch blog that never has any new sketches in it. I apologize if I'm posting stuff that's been posted previously, but I just don't have the energy to dig through old posts and sort stuff.

Hope everyone in internet land is well!

I'm going to split these up into multiple posts I think. More to come...

"Back seat, windows up, that's the way we like to..."

2006-06-20T19:10:00.000-04:00

...draw gorillas?

Playing around with Photoshop some mo'.

I know his left hand is fucked. As well as the gun, the pose, and any number of other things. That's what I get for drawing over something in ink before looking to see what I'm actually doing.

More messing around. This was going to be an orangutan, wearing clothes, and holding a sword. It totally makes sense when you're on wicked amounts of peyote.

Drunk Wolverine. There was text I was going to add, but since I hated the drawing I never got around to it. I'm pretty sure I botched the perspective, but since I didn't draw a background I could conceivably argue that Cyclops is just very tiny and floating all over the damn place. He's prone to do that. Fuckin' Cyclops.

Waste the rainbow...

2006-06-16T19:01:00.000-04:00

I haven't tried to color anything in forever (mostly because I don't know what the hell I'm doing) but I decided to screw around with this in Photoshop for a little while:

If you can't tell, I started off trying the "painterly" approach on his shirt, but as I realized that ship was quickly sinking, I suddenly switched to more of a "cel-shading" technique. Aesthetics? Cohesion? I laugh in your faces!

EDIT:
Since neither of these are really deserving of their own post, I'm editing this one to add the bird...thing, that was part of the original sketch.

"Illusions, Michael. Tricks are something a whore does for money."

2006-06-14T16:23:00.000-04:00

I think that's the second Arrested Development quote I've used as a post title. Best show evar.

Here's a bunch of junk I done drawed over the last couple of days. You're probably going to see some of it and say "WTF? Did you scan every single scrap of shit you put a pen to in the last week?" to which the answer is a resounding "no." I witheld my grocery list, which did include a bomb ass doodle of both peas AND carrots. Even Ghandi would admire my remarkable restraint.

As an aside, I'll probably be updating this thing even more irregularly than usual over the next couple of weeks. I'm trying to spend my drawing time working on a collaborative comic project I got involved with. I don't want to show any of it here, as I feel it would be of bad etiquette to display work that I don't technically own, but if I go longer than usual without posting, that's probably why. Either that, or I went and got my head stuck in my own ass, as per several people's request. But hey, I'm drawing backgrounds on this thing! So if you look at these sketches and are like "God damn it! Draw some backgrounds motherfucker!" well, I am drawing backgrounds, motherfucker! Shit!

This last one, much like myself, has a brief and uninteresting backstory. So, my name is Todd, but one of my coworkers took to calling me "TeeDizzle" for some unexplainable reason. I mean, I don't work with Snoop Dogg or anything. TeeDizzle quickly morphed into "TeeDizzle fo' shizzle my nizzle grizzle," which then became "grizzle" and then just "grizz." I work with jokesters. So then the grizz thing lead to me being constantly referenced as a grizzly bear. I don't think I particularly look like a grizzly bear, aside from the rare occurance when I get my head stuck in a pot of honey (which, holy shit, is not a slangy call back to the comment I made earlier about my head being stuck in my ass). Anyway, that kinda stuck, so people would send me pictures of grizzly bears through MySpace etc. Someone recently asked me to draw myself as a bear for our staff bios page, so, yeah, here's me as a grizzly bear I guess:

I'm going to draw some of these other fools as animals as well so I don't look like a lone jackass, which is why there's some kind of hippy stork next to me. Oh bother.

Alright that's alls I gots. In case I don't say it enough, big thanks to everyone who may ever check out my little blog here. It means a lot to me, whether you leave comments or just look and silently shake your head in disgust.

Are you there, God? It's me, Will Riker...

2006-06-01T04:09:00.000-04:00

So, yeah, I redid my layout. Something about the generic blogger template I had before wasn't retarded enough for it to feel personal. I think this new look is juuuust retarded enough to say "Todd." I'm not quite sure what that image to the left is. I was browsing stock photography and found one I liked of a girl staring off across the ocean. The only problem was, she wasn't really staring at anything. Logically, I figured the only thing that could justify such intense interest on her part would be the ethereal, mystical apparition of Giant Commander Riker. I think witnessing that image every day and recently seeing The DaVinci Code has inspired me to write my own controversial religious mystery/thriller. You might want to avoid looking at my background now. It contains spoilers.

Not a whole hell of a lot to post right now. I have bunches of pages to scan, but I keep forgetting to bring them home from work. What a maroon. Right now, I'm trying to learn how to draw a male Japanese face. Ideally, I'd like to come upon a method for drawing Asian people that's more tactful and subtle than, say, slashes for eyes and karate poses. If any of you more observant and talented folks who may be reading this have any pointers, don't bogart that info. Puff puff, and pass. Thanks!

Wow, those really didn't scan very well. I should probably stop chopping lines of coke on my scanner bed, but the transexual hooker kept complaining about the razor nicks on her ass. Wakka wakka! I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!

The Venga babes from outer space are here to save the human race!

2006-05-25T03:46:00.000-04:00

Well holy shit, just like any children I may potentially have one day, I've been neglecting the hell out of this thing. Craziness at work recently lead to me working "normal people hours", which, unfortunately, resulted in me having to actually work at my job as opposed to taking money to draw until 3am. I got that nonsense sorted out, so now it's back to working the witching hour and defacing work documents with pictures of Spider-Man. Having not really done much for the past two weeks(!) I can't draw for shit anymore. I'm going to pretend like I don't have an Xbox 360 and TiVo in my house, and spend my free time trying to get myself back into passing form. Or, at least, I'm going to work on regaining the arrogance that lead me believe I was in "passing form" at any point in the first place.

This is the part of our program where we take requests. What's that? You want me to shut the fuck up and go away now? I aim to please!

Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called "Hero Squad."

2006-05-02T20:07:00.000-04:00

So, the other day my friend Geoff was kind enough, or sadistic enough, to post some old drawings of mine from high school that he had...for some potentially disturbing reason. Hilarity ensues:

Wow. Apparently, I had a thing for eyepatches and half-shirts. It's fascinating that even back then my drawings reflected my real life fashion sense. I'm also happy to see that I've maintained by considerable skill at rendering a completely empty, all white backround. Anyway, of course, after seeing these the remnants of my self esteem immediately decided they would pack up and leave if I couldn't produce better work these many years later. I gave it a go, yo:

Now, I swear that one looked a lot better before I decided to go at it with my new fountain pen. To clarify, "fountain pen" is not slang for "bottle of Jack Daniels" I just have a shaky hand, dammit. A pack of Parliament Lights and a 6 pack of Mountain Dew ended my auspicious Surgeon's career years ago. I set that bad boy aside with the quickness and went back to my Micron tech pen. It still looks like shit, but I'm at least used to it's unique odor by now.

So ends that little jaunt down memory lane. Overall, I'm convinced I've made large improvements since high school (it's amazing what occasionally looking at art, not to mention the real life counterpart of what you're trying to draw, can teach you)so that's nice, but holy shit I need to put that nose to the grindstone and work my ass off. I should be a hell of a lot better considering how much time has passed.

When I switched to this new blog, I made a mental promise to reign in the half-assed, unfinished doodles and make a concerted effort to push myself more. So far, I'm delighted to report that I apparently lie to myself as much as I do everyone else. I'm going to see if I can't remedy that at least a little in future posts, assuming my recent acquisition of The Shield Season 2 doesn't get in the way.

Horton Hears A "Who Gives A $#!+?"

2006-04-28T19:42:00.000-04:00

Not much to say about these, though, I guess I could make something up...

They say every picture tells a story, and the story behind these is filled with tears, bloodshed, betrayal, and redemption. The fall of a kingdom, followed by it's ultimate salvation at the hands of a prophecised hero. Gut wrenching emotional drama, high adventure, a thorough examination of what it means to be human! Lightsabres? I dunno, whatever.

It's all that stuff, plus wonky anatomy, awkard facial expressions, and a lack of understanding as to what a hand or foot is supposed to look like.

Somebody call NASA, I think I've just discovered a 3rd dimension!

2006-04-21T00:04:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to work on my weaknesses lately. That means learning to resist bullets and classy dames. Artistically speaking, that translates into inking, hands, feet, backrounds, perspective...basically, anything but faces. Even those I can only draw from about 3 angles and with 3 different expressions, one of which is crippling social inadequacy, but that's just because I have a mirror and thus, unlimited reference material. I've been "hella" (which is a totally wicked adjective, bra) busy at work lately, so I'm working on this stuff slowly, but hey, at least I'm trying to break my comfort zone. This is all I've got so far, which is a modest effort at best, but the fact that I even attempted to ink them or provide more elements than just a dude lost in a sea of negative space is pretty significant for me.

This next one was an attempt at drawing a corner of my room. Again with the completely terrible inks, but with even more questionable perspective in play. I swear to god I can't draw anything inorganic to save my life. I've been told this reeks of a ruler and technical pens, which are what I used, so I can't argue there. If you're admirable of how sterile and clean my room looks, understand that I strategically neglected to include the vast expanse of pornography that covers everything in sight like a blanket of questionably legal, morally reprehensible snow. Not because I'm ashamed, mind you, but because I don't want documented evidence of what I own in case the FBI kicks in my deadbolt before I can get the match to light.

Lastly, a friend of mine reminded me that I own a tablet and Adobe Illustrator, and that those two Wonder Twins can let their powers combine to overcome violent hand seizures brought on by mass quantities of cigarettes and Mountain Dew and immitate smooth ink lines. I tried the technique out by freehanding some faces and while I don't know what I'm doing yet, I definitely see the potential for better results than the crap I'd been doing with tech pens, a brush, or a crowquill. The tech pens are flat and lifeless, the brush was too hard for me to draw in detail, and with a quill pen I tended to treat it more like a prisoner carving out his tenure on his cell wall. Illustrator gives me line weight and smooth lines, so maybe there's hope for me yet.

Zzzzzz...

2006-04-05T10:53:00.000-04:00

I wish I had something amusing or witty to say, but honestly, I got an hour and a half of sleep last night and I'm tired as hell. Here's some stuff I doodled, now I'm going to down a gallon of caffeine and pray for the sweet embrace of death.

-Todd

That last post was so amazing, it DEMANDS a sequel...

2006-03-25T05:30:00.000-05:00

More single-image filler material!

I doodled this up mostly for inking practice. I can't ink worth a damn. I've tried everything: tech pens, crowquills, brushes, brush pens, no matter what I seem to completely ruin whatever I touch with an inking utensil. I think I could grab a live squid, wring it over the page and not do much worse. I'm not the best artist by any means to begin with, but it really bothers me that whatever "life" I'm able to capture in my drawings is totally sucked out and the images badly flattened when I try to ink them. This might be even more of a prohibiter of me finishing anything than general laziness. I guess I could practice some more, but I'd rather keep buying supplies until I find the one that magically makes me amazing.

Filler...

2006-03-24T04:50:00.000-05:00

I really don't like the fact that I've got this fresh webspace set up, but no content thus far to speak of. Maybe the prospect of filling up a few entries will motivate me to draw more. I say that, but I'll probably end up spending my free time rocking God of War or Law & Order reruns on TiVo.

For now, here's a random doodle I hadn't posted anywhere before to take up a little space at least. Normally I wouldn't consider this worth posting by it's lonesome, but I'm desperate and short on material.

Moving Day...

2006-03-23T20:22:00.000-05:00

My old blog recently came under assault by a vicious onslaught of spam in the comments section. It seems like no matter how many times I erase their referrals to enlargment pills, these spambots just won't be satisfied with my penis until it's large enough to swollow Gepetto and his makeshift raft. Rather than spend an hour a day deleting all that nonsense, I decided to make like General Sherman, burning everything around me to the ground and moving on to my next location, here. Hopefully, this will work out better. Anyway, all of my old work can be found at http://www.bombunists.com/blog/blogs if you like staring at rotting corpses.

Now, if you genuinely do think I'd benefit from penis enlargement pills and would like to make your case in my comments section, that's not to say I won't allow it, I just ask that you provide a well supported arguement complete with anecdotal evidence and witness testimony. Thank you for your understanding.

-Todd